Thursday, July 14

14th July- Diary entry (2:34 am)

Pure madness – let me know if you understand…

Raat ke is gehraate sannate me mujhe kuch chikhe sunayi deti hai. Ye nahi malum, ki ye chikhe hai kiski aur itne kareeb kyo hai. Kuch dhayan dene par pata chalta hai ki koi ro raha hai. Par kyo??

Mujhe is rone ki awaaz se itni takleef kyo hai. Kyo aisa mehsoos ho raha hai jaise kuch apna sa kho gaya hai. Kyo dard sa mehsoos ho raha hai aur  ji chah raha hai ki mai bhi rou us awaaz ke sath. Tut gaya hai kuch kahi par. Door bas tumhari parchhayi si deekhti hai. Kuch kadmo ke nishan shayad mil jaye par ab andhera sa ho raha hai in raho par.

Tum shayad kuch jaldi nikalte to, kuch door tak thar paya ja sakta tha. Par ab kya ho sakta hai. Tum to chale gaye, aur ye ret tumhare kadmo ke nishano ko uda le jayegi. Par kya us hawa ko jara si der ke liye ye nahi lagta ki un nishano ko mere liye chhod de. Kya is andheri raat ko nahi lagta ki who mujhe thodi aur deri ki mohlat de tumhe dekhne ki. Woh tumhe samet kar apne aghosh me na le, mujhe mahsoos karne de tumhe apni ankhon se.

Hath badha kar ab tumhe chhu nahi sakti. Tum door ja chuke ho, aur meri ankhen nahi khuli thi jab tum ja rahe the. Kitna shor hai mere as paas. Ya shayad ye sab mere bhitar ghat raha hai. Duniya ghum si rahi hai. Kuch shaf sa dikhta nai. Ab dhundhalka andhere me tabdeel ho chukka hai aur hawa bhi tez hai. Kaha kadam badhau kuch dikhta hi nai.

Tumhe to kho chuki mai. Par kyo pinjarbaddho si chatpatati hu tumhare jaane ke baad bhi.