Sunday, November 18

Life Without Your Smile

The first ray of sun peeps through my window to wake me up. I smile with your smile – It’s sheer joy and plain happiness that I gain out of it. The strength I derive out of it is Life.

I wonder what my world would be without that smile of yours - A damp dark room with roaches running all over. -The moldy stench that rots every living thing in vicinity. The cold shiver creeping in from the cracks in the floor will reach the core of warmth in me and will kill the flame.

I never knew what your smile was worth until today, when my heart ailed to see it gone. Gone, as I was the reason for your sadness. You smiled when I asked you for it, but it never had the warmth of the brown that your eyes carry.

My world will go vacant without your smile. My strength will fail – m y brightness will fail – my entire existence will fail. There will just be a scar remaining on my face in the name of smile. There won’t be any more sunrises to brighten my mornings. There won’t be any joy in my mischiefs. The sparkle of my eyes will be lost.

I wonder, where would life be or would it worth be living – A LIFE WITHOUT YOUR SMILE.

Thursday, November 8

I’m a Wee Bit Jealous

I saw u coming through the thick traffic from a distance. You are always visible. I never have the trouble seeing you even at a distance. Not because you are too tall or you shine in the crowd or anything like that. It’s just because my eyes always seem to find you, be it far, be it near, be it crowded, be it dark, I will always see you.

So, today was no different. I saw myself through your eyes while getting ready to go out and meet you and I knew you will see what I did. I smiled but you didn’t. Somehow, today I felt you were a bit distant, preoccupied, and then you told me that you had an argument back home. But, I knew that was not the whole reason.

We spent the entire evening together and I heard everything that you had to say. I was there with you, though something was amiss between us. The usual “US” factor that your friends said was missing. I made sure it was. I made sure you spoke up as you made me speak my feelings. You taught me it was easy to talk and with you words came so effortlessly, so why is it difficult for you?

I made sure I am not paying attention to you and I made sure you felt it too. I looked into your eyes and realized what you were going through but I wanted to hear it. I wished you would say that you were jealous like you said you were possessive. It is one feeling I still cherish. I still smile at the mere thought of the fact that someone is so possessive about me. Did you not see me smile the entire day when you said that?

I do not fight with you to make you feel bad about something. I fight, so that you speak. Say that you love me with your entire being, as you really do. You said what I wanted to hear. You finally said, “I’m jealous. I want your unwavering attention.” And I smiled with my entire being. My entire angst vanished. I’m not angry anymore.