Tuesday, June 18

Loss

Is it due to the loss of someone we love that we cry or is it that we feel pity on the hurtful situation?  Is it the pain that hurts or the mere loss? Despite the crisis or the pain, I don’t cry generally. It’s only when I’m with someone who I love or in front of whom I’m not scared to bare my heart, I cry. People say crying makes it easier to bear the pain, but even the deepest sense of loss can’t make me cry till I am with someone who touches those chords.

The lost soul is forever gone - either never to come back or never to get that place back in my life and heart. So, definitely there is a loss - a vacant space created in my soul due to your absence, but who do I go and explain. I cry with you or in front of you because you give me the respite none else does. But do you fulfill the loss - no you don’t. You seem to enhance the depth of gorge to an unfathomable extent. I panic. To cry or not to cry is the question now. I am at loss of the loss and the panic instilled by your presence

You will think I am confused, but I am not. Scared - yes I am, at the loss I already have and the loss that your presence instills. So, you double the loss and now I cry for both. You ask me what is it that I cry for and here the words confuse me – to an extent of creating inability in being coherent.

I cry – I still am not coherent – I cry – the loss is still unfathomable – I cry – the pain is still there – I cry – I still am scared.


The loss of you, the loss of your current presence and the loss of expressions – still hurt. I know its fresh but usually numbness never finds me. The pain never ceases. So, I cry for the loss – forever – but never with you.

Monday, June 10

Beads of Sweat

Beads of sweat
Fall off your brow
They taste sweet
Against my sweat
The joy of being
Able to taste is heavenly,
Your heart beats against mine
Is the high of head banging
Sweetness of your lips
Is next to nectar of love,
Joy of your touch
On my golden skin
Glows on my face
And brightens my smile,
Touch of your lips
Gives me a high of bliss,
Your breathe against mine
Is my scent of love.
Beads of sweat
Flow over my body
I am drenched and soaked
Yet I am so thirsty,
Your love is what I seek
Forever and ever and ever,
Your beaded sweat
Tastes sweeter than nectar
Your sweat is what I seek
Your beads on my heart

Beads of sweat on my soul.

Thursday, June 6

Let me let go of your eyes

Some emotions just seem to engulf your entire existence; still they leave you unfazed with so many mysteries that complete them. I see the swarming questions and emotions in your eyes. I know they seem to ask a lot more than your mere words convey. It’s beyond my understanding of your need to utter them. I know you are scared and so am I. I wish things were a little simpler but have I not myself, made it so complex. I am scared of your questions and your overtly conveying eyes. There are times when I feel to simply bask in the love they ooze but that’s again not mine to ask for.

A life with you is endearing and a life without you will go on. You ask me whether I will miss you when you are gone. Don’t you know it for yourself? Is it too much to ask if I simply want to be happy? With you or without you is not the question.

I know I sound selfish but you are someone I wish to possess my entire life and I know that it will not happen. I know I will have to let go of you. You have to find your happiness elsewhere. But your eyes will always haunt me, my entire life.


I will never be able to let go of them. You know how I feel about you and I am scared that everyone else does too.

Sunday, May 19

Cliché

Thoughts that cross my mind have been told across a zillion times and the come across as clichés or dialogues. But has anyone thought that they might be my real feelings. It might just be that I am going through that block where there is nothing new for to think or write and this phase will pass. The ray of sunlight will peep through the grey clouds and I will smile again as if I had never known any sorrows, until then I wait and search for my smile. It is just a traffic jam not a dead end. Even if, it would have been a dead end I will find my way off and carve my road. Till then I wait for the traffic to clear. I don’t wait for anyone to find me happiness or grant me permission to seek my smile. I know how to find my star. The sole guiding star of mu soul is hidden behind the clouds and the clouds will go. I just have to make a strong wind and all the grays will fly off giving way to my soul star. Till then I wait and work on my way through.