“Love Comes in a Package” – A friend of mine used to tell this to me long time back.
She elaborated on my questioning glance that when you fall in love with a person, you accept them with their good, bad and ugly, all features intact. You do not change them as per your whims but make amends in your lifestyle to suit the relationship requirements. You should make space for their mood swings and tantrums, and smilingly ‘move on’ as you know they would do the same for you.
After so many years, I still remember her words ringing clearly in my ears as I wait for the one who would accept me with all my goods and bads – the best of me with the worst of me. If it were true in her case, why would it be too much to ask in my case?
However, life is not same for everyone. I’ve forgotten the feeling of love – the pink heart shape glasses that come with it. The ability to see beauty in everything has faded with the keen and alert glare at the world. I don’t let myself believe in love. I don’t wish to believe either. The belief makes me weak. The stories of ‘Prince Charmings’ sweeping their beloveds’ off their feet has lost its charm. The dream of opening the door for my love every evening has lost its meaning in this constant race for sustainability.
I’m no more the delicate and sensitive person I was. Now I try to see trough everything, even when I’m supposed to let go and let things happen on their own accord. The world has gotten into me – it has turned me to follow their rotten ways. It used to see me in a bad light and now when I’ve turned bad, it deems me fit. An insensitive slave – a part of their meaningless race.
I used to say that I’ll never be a part of this rat-race, but here I’m. A part of me is still alive that wishes escape and believes in love. Nevertheless, other part says – go-ahead girl, change. They won’t accept your honesty – so lie. There is no such thing as love and peace – and that’s how I have come to believe that reality does not have ‘Prince Charming’ and ‘Happy Endings’.
PS: This article was written on 1st of July. Too late in posting it, I guess.