Saturday, December 4

Missing You

My heart is popping out some unbelievable emotions for me to understand as of now. It’s 5:10 in the morning and I have not yet slept. Sleep is miles away from me. Not sure how to explain these unexpected chills running throughout my body, shaking me and awaking me to reality that I miss you. A feeling this strong has come to me after this long and I find it damn difficult to shake it off.

I hear your husky voice close to my ears, whispering my name and telling me that I’m beautiful. I sense your smell around me, your aura spreads and encapsulates me within. The gentle playfulness of your fingers in my hair, the way you made me laugh – I miss my laughter some days, the way you played with my fingers, and I miss you being around me always.

I don’t believe in “Lived happily forever afters” and so I want to have you in person, with me and for me, NOW. If time could be played with, I would shift it to be with you and pause it there. Why is there pain with all the good and bad feelings both? Let one part be free of it. Love relates to pain, break-up relates to pain, distance relates to pain, missing you relates to pain, fighting with you relates to pain, why every damned emotion is related with pain.

I miss those few lazy and gentle moments spent with you, lying beside each other and not speaking even a single word. But then, the silences meant a lot of things to us. I wish I could ever tell you what you mean to me. It’s not only a ‘deal’ that I’m living, but a life that will be always be incomplete without you. I wish you knew how much I miss you. I wish I could tell you, how much I miss you.