Whipped

Whips of wishes lash my heart

- It bleeds and the flesh

But does it really hurt

I don’t feel any kind of pain

There’s an ambiguous feel in head

I give up my joys to whips

Every second passes by in anticipation

Now that I await for pain

- It will come – I know for sure

But till when do I get lashed

Till when I bear the whip

My heart is cut into million pieces

It’s hemorrhaged –

Probably death will come before pain

Unsure of what I await

I continue getting whipped.

A Walk To Remember

We were walking on a road – hands in hands - and I could see myself smiling. It was one of those carefree smiles that you always wanted to see on my face. There was a sense of satisfaction in your gait – I just could not point a finger at what you actually were feeling but I assumed it to be something related with my smile.

We were walking on a road that was unusually calm. I could only see a few people scurrying on their business, but otherwise the street was silent. You were pointing towards something that was not very clear to me. You were explaining its importance. To be honest I could not make a head or a tail about it, but it was good to listen to you. I was looking at your expressions changing with every statement and your lips changing shape with every word you spoke. It was fascinating and I have always stared at your lips when you spoke to me.

After some time of talking, you probably realized that I was not listening but staring intently at you, so you started making funny faces like I always used to do. And I laughed out loud. You beamed at the sound of my laughter and gave a small smile that just about said a lot of things that you could not put in your words. I looked around the streets and asked you that why is it so empty today? It usually is a very crowded street, and today being a Sunday it should be all the more crowded. You simply smiled and said, “I just wanted to make your dream walk even more beautiful.”

Yes, I remember telling you that I wanted to see this road empty so that I could walk with you for once without being harassed by the honks and passer- bys. I hugged you to say thanks, but you slipped out of my arms and started to go away. I tried holding you but you started to seem very far and continuously drifting away from me. You vanished into thin air.

I woke up drenched in sweat. It was a dream. You always wanted to come in my dreams. You gave me a walk to remember in my dream.

दर्द

दर्द के हज़ार टुकड़े पनपते रहते हैं इस सीने में
उन टुकडो में प्यार का उफ़ान भी आता है
किसका दर्द ज्यादा है पूछते हैं लोग
इश्क में शायद ये मुक़ाम भी आता है

जीने तो देते नहीं इस जहाँ में लोग
मोह्हब्बत शायद करे कुछ मदद मरने में
मुस्कुराना तो मुश्किल है बेवजह
डर लगता है शेफ़ा की दुआ करने में

Amiss

Something had been amiss through the day for Anwesha. She sat at the windowsill looking out of her window. She could see the vehicles scurrying at their own pace and the dreary grey buildings standing in the foggy cold day. Till her eyes could see on the horizon, it was all painted in a shade of dull grey with the cold and fog. Even the trees had turned to a shade of grey to match up the dreariness of her thoughts. Nothing seems changed, so what has changed in their relationship. Why does Rajiv not trust her anymore? Why did the ghosts of mistrust started to haunt him when things are so plainly in view? She has never been infidel to him. He had always been the most loved part of her life. He had been an essential part of hers ever since they were in a relationship.

Rajiv had started to see ghosts of infidelity haunting his dreams.  There was no explanation for why the ghosts did haunt him. Is it so difficult to have faith in the person you love? People claim to bare their souls to each other in love, so where does mistrust fit in between two souls communicating. His ghosts will haunt him till his heart gets hollow, completely devoid of love, does he not understand that. These termites will lead to the fall of a beautiful relation they shared.

Anwesha thought that probably the termite eaten building of their love will survive this grey winter but when the rain comes, every part of the building will wither away with it. She will have to let go of Rajiv for him to survive. He will kill himself with the guilt of abusing her every time they fight. It hurts him to abuse her, but he has to vent out his frustration somewhere. She will let go of him.

She loves him too much too see him hurt himself. Good bye love, you will always remain in my heart but I no longer have that space in your life, thought Anwesha and she could see the grey weather clearing up as the sun rose

सुकून

एक सुकून की तलाश में जिन्दगी यूँ तमाम हो गयी

हम न चाहते हुए भी गैरो के दामन भिगोते रहे

अपने तो कब के छोड़ गए तनहा इन राहों पर 

हम इन गैरो में उन अपनों को तलाशते रहे

रास्ते पूछते हैं हमसे हमारी मंजिल का पता

हम उनसे कहते है कहीं तो मिलेगी हमारी रूह हमें

खून का हर कतरा बह चूका है इस जिस्म से

पर न चाहते हुए भी तलाश है अपनों की हमे

Life is SIMPLE

Life is all about simplicity. We make things complicated and we tend to spend all our lives trying to sort the mess out. We keep cursing on life being so complicated. Why do we not understand the beauty of smaller things? There is a child standing and smiling at you but we choose to ignore it – Why? We tend to ignore those little talks with our siblings that we used to enjoy as kids – Why? Those fights with friends that happened and forgotten the next minute - why do we stretch them to their limits of breaking down now? Yes we have grown up.

We are busy with all those shitty little things that we do naming it to be Work… we have forgotten to prioritize things. Why forget the simpler things in life that made us so lively and beautiful? We don’t have time for family, friends and every other important thing. The smile of your loved ones when they waited for you to come home and have meals together…Now we have dinners at work and we stay out late. Certain problems that we could talk to friends or family and search solutions for it – now we choose to keep them with ourselves.

We used to giggle about break-ups and cheer our friends up saying that person was not suitable - now what we see is a marriage falling apart. As we have grown up – so we thought why not our problems should and we let them grow up to be mountain. Or have just shrunken our point of views to perceive a molehill that huge. I guess it’s our attitude that has changed. People talk about New Year resolutions but have you ever thought that it’s just another day and nothing has changed apart from our perception towards that new thing.

None of the things have changed. It’s just the matter of priorities and perceptions. Perception is not reality. Check out the reality – It’s very simple and still very beautiful. Life is simple and beautiful. Nothing can damage its charm save your own perception. You still have the time to simple things down. Talk to people you once called your own, maybe it’s your lack of importance that made them go away in the first place. Step out of your cocoon of self indulgence and see the many beauties that lie in simplicity.

Yes, Life is very Simple – You just need to open your eyes.

My tears and my pain

My chest ebbs with pain

I know there is more to come

It is there to haunt me forever

Like air it’s ever present

Unseen but felt with every breath

Eyes don’t help me see it

But my heart feels it every minute

Tears stream down my cheeks

Salt cuts through the skin

Eyes won’t ever get parched

This pain will never go

It hurts to breathe every time

Let me have my piece of solace

Let me have my share of joy

Where has my smile vanished

Pain vanquished it to shreds

These shreds are all I have

My heart beats in pain

It will never leave me alone

It has become my partner for life

My tears and my pain

The unseen ubiquitous part of me

I am the princess of this world

A world of miseries that I live

They will always be there

To welcome on my doorsteps

A smile is what I seek

Perhaps am blaming the wolf

But I have to fight my ghosts

I feel to have lost the battle

Forever - now I have my trophy

My tears and my pain